


i will literally jump into the han river

by hyunggussoundcloud



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, all i can say is im sorry dad, god damn ok so this is a joke, its supposed to be bad ok, oh shit wait lmao wonwoo is mingyus sugar daddy, there will be smut....... eventually, youre welcome person who told me to do smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-08-11 07:42:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16471544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyunggussoundcloud/pseuds/hyunggussoundcloud
Summary: "i need a sugar daddy, minghao.""that's great, sweetheart."





	1. maybe i panicked

**Author's Note:**

> this is for u babes 
> 
> you know who you are

mingyu had never been so embarrassed in his entire life.

he grabbed the bag of instant ramen off the small checkout counter, rushing out of the convenience store with barely concealed panic, almost dropping his phone in the haste to unhook his bike from the rack outside. he'd never pedaled so fast to get home.

well. home was a one bedroom apartment without a kitchen, but details ya feel me ma. 

**bigger bitch**

whya rent u answering me

**big bitch**

im habing a god damn meltdown ok let me live

**bigger bitch**

why lmao

**big bitch**

mmmmmmaybe i saw my ex and mmmmmmmmmmmmmaybe he saw me and mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaybe he asked me to have a threesome w him and his bf and MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAYBE I PANICKED

**bigger bitch**

oh god no

im coming over djgjksk we need to talk abt this in person

"let me get this straight, you colossal idiot. you ran into soonyoung at the fucking gas station and he asked you for a hookup." minghao took the rest of the lid off his own cup, mixing the noodles a bit for the rest of the seasoning to dissolve.

mingyu waited for his own at the microwave he had set up on top of his mini fridge, sighing as he stared at his sad reflection. he was going to die of mortification. "i will literally jump into the han river if you tell anyone this, but he asked me for a threesome and then i said i'd only have sex with them if he paid me."

"mingyu."

"i know."

" _mingyu._ " 

"i  _know._ "

minghao couldn't even laugh, the situation was so absurd. he couldn't believe what was happening. "and then what happened, dumbass."

"my card declined and he paid for my stuff." the microwave beeped, and he ripped the door open si fast it almost broke. he was really going to fucking die of embarrassment.

"jesus fucking christ, kim."

"i need a sugar daddy, minghao."

"that's great, sweetheart." and then he looked up at his friend. "if you just said what i think you said, you better not have."


	2. hahahaha what the fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "i signed you up for a sugar daddy site."
> 
> "please, for once, please say sike."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> he didnt say sike

things could go well. really, they could. for some people. mingyu was not one of those people, not by a long shot.

and, not to place the blame or anything... but it was totally seungkwan's fault. him and his disaster, manic energy radiating self. he was great, when he was great, but when he wasn't, it was catastrophic.

"guess what, gaylords." always a wonderful conversation starter, that one. seungkwan needed new nicknames, gaylord and father were getting old.

minghao threw a straw at the younger man, laughing in triumph when he screeched. "speak, peasant."

alas, he was ignored. seungkwan instead turned to the disaster king himself, mingyu. alresdy telling of the apocalypse that was about to occur. oh, lord. "soooooo, i did a thing."

"oh, no." spoken in perfect unison, because things done by seungkwan always equal terrifying results. every time without fail. 

but, mingyu was willing to give him a small, small chance. "what's the thing, dishwasher." see, perfect. beautiful nickname, 10/10.

"iiiiiiii..." he paused for dramatic effect, getting out his phone so he could show them his mistake. "i signed you up for a sugar daddy site."

minghao was completely justified in his exhasperation. "please, for once, please say sike." his head was already on the table, he had given up. 

"i never say  _that word._ it doesn't exist in my vocabulary, shishter. oh! you have a message!" he thrust the phone into mingyu's hand, and it all went downhill from there.

**Kim.Kiwoo**

I wanna spank you

Whackwhackwhackwhack

**mingyuuu**

hahahaha what the fuck

"please tell me you know how to block people."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor kiwoo he just wanted a piece of mingyus booty :(


	3. why does this always happen to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "why. why me."
> 
> "you are a magnet of things that go wrong."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mingyu: breathes
> 
> me: youre absolutely right lets torture you for 8 more chapters

**woojaebum**

You're very handsome, young man

**mingyu** **uu**

uh thanks

**woojaebum**

Would you be interested in meeting up?

To discuss some things

**mingyuuu**

sure lol

needless to say, things went terrible and mingyu almost cried when the guy said he was the love of his life about ten minutes into the dinner.

"minghao, why does this always happen to me." he complained afterward, whining, and draped across both of his friends.

"as jango fett once said, what's a little failure when you know there's the perfect sugar daddy out there just for you?"

"he didn't say that, seungkwan."

of course, he ignored them, too deep in his pool of self pity by then. "why. why me."

"you are a magnet of things that go wrong."

time to try again.

**mingyuuu**

hi there

**Kim_Daehyun**

Hello.

Nice to meet you.

Your name is Mingyu?

**mingyuuu**

yep thats me haha

**Kim_Daehyun**

Hm, I like your name, Mingyu.

My name is Daehyun.

How old are you?

**mingyuuu**

21 why

**Kim_Daehyun**

I see.

A bit old for me.

But I like your profile, maybe we could work something out.

**mingyuuu**

no thanks!

bye

he was still shuddering at the creepy vibes three hours later. "who the hell uses that many full sentences when they text..." he muttered to himself probably too many times.

curse you, boo seungkwan. curse. you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter dedicated to me because i wrote it!


End file.
